Creeping Death Chronicles 006: HOW the FUCK are WE ugly?!

CABANE DANS LES BOIS
00h07
SAMEDI

Hey, Nobi, say “anger” again…

A light clicks on…

A single room shack, illuminated only by the slightly swinging lightbulb. Standing under it, chewing her nails, is JOSIE GREY.

It’s…hard…to lose. Obviously. Nobody enjoys that feeling. Nobody ENJOYS saying “someone else, at least for this one time, is better than me.”

TJ knows what that’s like every day...just by being him.

I mean, hell…I get it, too. I’ve lost many times…many, many, many times. As has Fallon…as has Nobi…as has TJ…as has Maximus…as has Ceridwen…so on, so forth…you win, or you lose. That’s just how it is.

But what separates CHAMPIONS from everybody else, is what they do AFTER they lose. Do you quit? Do you try something else? Or do you make like Bluey’s mom…and have a nice cry, dust yourself off, and get on with it?

I didn’t win my OWA Sparks championship on my first go…I didn’t win the OWA Women’s Tag titles on my first try…nor the SHW American Horror championship…nor the SWWS Queen’s Cup…I fought. I persevered. I LEARNED.

And in the end, when it mattered the absolute most…when all the chips were laid out, and everyone went all in…I walked out the champion.

So let’s continue that trend here…shall we?

Now, ok…Nobi beat me last week. No shit. HE SEEMS to think that means we’re dead in the water. HE SEEMS to think, because he pinned me last week on Triumph…me and Fallon somehow aren’t…me and Fallon anymore.

Nobi…for someone who’s been in this as long as you have? You’re really fuckin’ stupid.

Because I can ASSURE YOU…YES. We DO train together. YES. We DO watch tape together and plan. YES. WE DO ACTIVELY talk about our plans going forward as a team, and YES. We DO plan on beating the holy fucking dog shit out of you and TJ, taking those PCW Tag Titles, and adding MORE gold to our collections…Jesus, Nobi…HOW are you respected in this? I’m not even gonna BRING UP the unbelievably dumb shit about us spending the last three months getting our nails done.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. BECAUSE WE’RE GIRLS.

HA HA HA. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. HA.

I UNDERSTAND THIS JOKE. THIS IS FUNNY TO ME.

THAT’S almost as funny as you thinking ANYONE wants to see your movies, Nobi…and it’s ALMOST as funny as how you think you and TJ have a chance in hell of beating us. It is going to be my honor to get a second chance at you, White Knight, because THIS time I know the faults in your armor. THIS time, I see the holes in your chainmail, and buddy boy, I am going to give you far, FAR more than a flesh wound. The Skyward Knights - which by the way, is JUST A GOD DAMN FUCKING NAME, SO STOP MAKING FUN OF IT!!!! OK?!? - are going to see very, very, very quickly that while Yes, they HAVE been progressing? They have been missing the writing on the goddamn wall. The truth is? As a team, Ultra-Luxe has surpassed you wonder twins. You’ve been sitting around here, thinking we’ve just been at fucking salons for three months…well, shit, that shows just how little you two shitheels pay attention to this business you both apparently love SO much. Fallon Stone is one of - if not THE - fastest rising stars in this beautiful business. She has talent OOZING from every pore, and there isn’t a single thing on this planet that incredible creation can’t do…she wants an Oscar? She’s getting an Oscar. She wants a pet rabbit? She’s getting a pet goddamn rabbit.

She wants the PCW Tag Titles?

Then we’re beating the shit out of some overrated, underdeveloped, mentally stunted dipshits to get them.

Then there’s me…Creeping Death. The Prodigy.

You know why they call me The Prodigy, boys?

Because I fucking AM one.

I’ve gotten to the same dancehall, for the same gold medal, that you two hotshots are at, in a QUARTER of the time it took you both. Let’s not pretend like Nobi wasn’t a laughing stock for YEARS before he finally hit his stride…and TJ…nobody knew who HE was until he latched himself onto Nobi. Yet somehow - SOMEHOW - me losing is just…CRAZY.

You boys wanna sit around and pretend like one loss is a cataclysmic abyss? Like neither of you have been in the mire before?

Why don’t we remind you how it feels.

Because rest assured, boys? Us “ugly” girls? Are going to take the PCW Tag Team Championships home with us. We are going to embarrass you…dog walk you…we are going to make sure that you dumb little fuckers keep our names out of your mouths for GOOD, unless it’s followed by “-are better than us.” Fallon Stone. Josie Grey. Ultra-Luxe. You will put some GOD DAMN RESPECT on our names, and you will shut your fucking mouths when you’re speaking to us. Josie Grey. Fallon Stone. The Present AND Immediate Future of the PCW Tag Team division. We are better than you, we are the best team in PCW Period…

We are…Inevitable.

And when we’re done with you?

You’ll realize your golden armor was just tinsel…

We are the righteous swords of Saint Jeanne D’Arc…we are the artillery flattening No Man’s Land…we are napalm in the jungles…

We Are Ultra-Luxe.

And we are War.

Josie reaches up...she smirks.

And clicks off the light, casting the room in darkness.

Her eye glows red.


Fight Us.