Promo 30/7/23

Last Sunday would have been the perfect night. A perfect debut for the perfect wrestler. The stage was set, a young star making his long-awaited debut facing a respected veteran in front of a pro wrestling city. Last Sunday I did what I said I was going to do. I beat Nobi fair and square. So, what’s the problem? Why, the disgusting behavior both Chicago and Nobi showed me. From the moment I walked down the ramp I was showered with boos and disrespectful chants. And after my victory, not only do the boos continue, but my opponent has the gall to complain to the referee? What are you complaining about?! You lost! I won! There was nothing wrong with my victory and the reason I can say this with all the confidence is the world is had something gone awry, the impeccable officials here at PCW would have instantly caught it and taken action. Of course, my opponent doesn’t know how to take a loss despite all the previous years of experience he has. You could make an excuse for me because I’ve never lost, but not for him! He didn’t even have time to sign an autograph for one of his biggest fans in my maid. Never meet your heroes. And to make matters worse, what’s my reward for winning my debut match? Some nonsense tag team tournament with a pitiful prize of $250,000? Do you know how much money I have? Who would ever compete for-

…I apologize. I didn’t mean my last statement. I am so HONORED to be part of this monumental event in professional wrestling history!!! And I couldn’t be happier with Lady Luck for pairing me with a fellow winner from last week, I can’t imagine losing what it was like losing on the first ever episode of Triumph. Maybe Niles Jenkins will enlighten us when we’re inside the ring. What do you think Smiles? Great one, right?! Or can I call you Target? We are tag partners; we are basically brothers already. You see, I can already feel so much chemistry between the two of us. We could be an all-timer duo, just think about all the great ones: Drake and Josh, Bert and Ernie, Buzz and Woody, De Bryune and Haaland, Percival VI and Target Smiles. Rolls right off the tongue, doesn’t it? I’ll be the young, attractive, charismatic, rich, funny one. And you can be the old one. We’re going to make such a great team!

And don’t worry, you can keep that whole sad mysterious thing you got going right now. Hey, I don’t judge! Maybe I can even spin your words a little so the audience can get the point of whatever you’re trying to say, which I’m sure is very profound. Speaking of audiences, don’t worry about a thing. I’m sure Chicago was a one off and the people in New Jersey will love us! Who wouldn’t? The most talented prodigy wrestling has ever seen and his trusty companion Target Smiles! There is no way we’re not cheered out the arena, just as there is no way we can lose that match.

And why is that? Do you even need to ask? Those two, Niles Jenkins and Nathan Bogard? Come on, they have never even teamed together! They don’t have that connection, that bond me and Target share. Honestly, how can they compete? As I mentioned before Niles didn’t even win his debut match, and fortune doesn’t seem to favor him, putting him up against the mightiest team in PCW.  As for Terry Bogard, well he is a little bit like me, if instead of having a family of royalty across every profession imaginable they were all wrestlers instead. I will admit your bloodline has a little more wrestling pedigree than mine. Percival III did work the occasional territory, but it was no more than a hobby for him. So the Lights against the Bogards? Maybe you would have a small advantage, but me and you? Stop joking! Seriously, stop. I mean, The Lion? Boooring. Isn’t that right, Target? Of course you agree with me! Just like each and every servant behind me agrees with what I’ve said. So, the two of you, stop dreaming about winning one of the most INCREDIBLE trophies to have blessed this sport and the *wincing* AMAZING price money. You were never winning this, but since you drew us in the first round? You’re going home right away. It’s not all bad, it could be a blessing in disguise really. Who is to say you’re not better suited for singles competition…*whispering* like me…

Hey, Target! I call dibs on the trophy lift!