Killbillies Can Survive (An Introductory Harley Thomas Promo)

Scene: An undisclosed hotel room somewhere in Maryville, Tennessee
Date: December 3rd, 2023
Time: 03:42 pm

(We set foot inside a hotel room as we see a half-eaten bologna sandwich on a paper plate sitting beside the nightstand with a half-drunk bottle of Sun Drop sitting beside it. We see a pair of silver travel suitcases sitting by the bed when we hear the sound of running water from the faucet inside the motel. Finally, the water turns off and the door opens to see a tall, slender yet athletic young man with short brown hair sporting a thick beard wearing a Lynyrd Skynyrd shirt and black basketball shorts. He raises his eyebrow quizzically at the camera before he mutters to himself.)

Tall Man: Hell, I wasn’t ‘spectin’ y’all here ‘til later…

(He strokes his chin, pondering the presence of the camera man before he continues.)

Tall Man: Guess y’all want me to talk some ‘bout why I came over to PCW, huh?

(The tall man rubs the back of his neck, pacing as he collects his thoughts.)

Tall Man: So… for those who don’t know me, I… am “Killbilly Deluxe” Harley Thomas, and the reason I’m here… is I love to fight! Ever since I was an itty-bitty thang, I never hesitated to throw down with people who disrespected me and in most of them fights… there were just two hits. Me hitting them… and them hitting the floor. Split lips? Black eyes? Blood? Bruises? Just occupational hazards to me! And my occupation? This wonderful thing called W-R-E-S-T-L-I-N-G! This… is where my bread is buttered. This… is my reason to get up in the morning. This… saved me from being some no-good, mangy scumbag! And I take this business VERY seriously! It’s how I put food on my table!

(Harley motions to the half eaten sandwich and drink.)

Harley Thomas: I have had to sacrifice a lot for this business… I have put up with broken promises from promoters, lived off of hot dogs and handshakes, and lived most of the last several years in hotels because I will be damned if I go back to throwing a ham and cheese sandwich in a metal lunchbox, punching a time clock, and being treated like dirt by some unqualified bean-counter of a boss! That ain’t the life I set out for, y’all!

(Harley shakes his head and continues.)

Harley Thomas: No sir… what I’m here to do is prove to each and every last sum-bitch who ever doubted me or told me I ain’t got no business being in this business that I DO have what it takes to make a name for myself and do whatever it takes to be the kinda wrestler I have always believed I am… and if anyone in PCW has a problem with that? Then SHUT ME UP! That’s all y’all gotta do is shut me up… but if ya can’t? Ya better get ready for these two fists to go right in your face and my size 15 boots to go straight up your ass because you’re gonna find out soon enough that a “Killbilly”… CAN survive!

(With that, Harley stares at the camera with narrowed eyes and a stone-faced stare as we fade out.)