The Mayonnaise Jar

Posts : 8 Join date : 2024-02-17

Three up, three down.

And now y’all have handed me another one of these over the hill dudes to beat up and I am happy to continue doing what I’ve always done, which is make this man who’s a foot taller than I am and more than twice my weight wonder how the hell he lost to a shit-talking Smurf with anger issues.

Nobi called out Brandon Hendrix ahead of Vendetta and all credit to him, he did what he set out to do.

But then again, so did I.

PCW keeps lining them up for me and I keep knocking them down, one by one. And as much as I respect the hustle from Nobi… y’all, really? This is what you give me? Man still looks good and moves quick, I’ll give him that. But I’m younger, faster, and quite frankly? Better at this shit than he’s ready to admit. Cause at least if I wanna insult someone, I got a variety of things I could say. I don’t keep calling someone a pussy and think that makes me a badass.

Also, if you gonna insult someone by calling them weak? Call them a ballsack, cause y’all would never survive the shit a pussy can do.

Anyway.

Now I gotta deal with the fact that you bore me to tears, Nobi. It’s not that you ain’t good - you just ain’t that interesting. You’re just another jar of mayonnaise on the shelf, you know? Like if you weren’t across the ring from me? I’d probably have a tough time picking you out of a crowd. And you know what? That’s okay, Nobi.

Cause not everyone is like me. Not everyone is born to take center stage in their own life and be a star. I realize you might think that you are now, cause you got the Hollywood career and all, but you’re gonna get outshined by Bianca Reed. So maybe after that you’ll fuck back off to a movie set somewhere and leave the business of wrestling to those of us who still have a passion for it.

Against Lynx, I talked about how I don’t like people who refer to themselves as legends. I’ve got even less patience for part-timers, and I’ll show you exactly why you gotta be better than your best when you’re up against me.

See, wrestling wasn’t the first sport that I excelled in. Before I became a wrestler, I was a dancer. I competed in Latin ballroom primarily and if you think being a wrestler requires hustle? You’ve never been part of the competitive dance community. People think they know now cause of Dance Moms, but they’re only scratching the surface. At least in wrestling you get time. In dance? You have ninety seconds, maybe two full minutes if you’re lucky, and you’re out there trying to use every second of that time to get the judges to notice you.

If you’re off by half a beat, if you’re not smiling enough, if you catch your heel on a crack in the dance floor? That’s points off your routine. And it might be just a fraction, but it’s enough to make the difference between winning and losing.

No room for error, Nobi. I competed from the time I was four years old until I was eighteen and moved out of my mother’s house. I loved dance - I still do. But I needed something that made me feel empowered, so I found wrestling. I applied that same work ethic I’d learned in fourteen years of dance into learning how to be a wrestler, and look where it’s brought me.

I’m not concerned with all your title wins or how you got where you are with hustle, loyalty, and respect. Cause frankly? Ain’t nobody in this business ever shown me any damn respect and I ain’t about to start giving it to people who don’t deserve it. And they all got surprised when I started being loud about the fact that I don’t give a shit what someone’s done before they get into a ring with me. I got the title wins too, bitch. I ain’t concerned with the past, I’m concerned with the here and now.

On paper, I know what this match looks like. David versus Goliath, Godzilla against one single citizen of Tokyo, but I don’t care. I never want to hear the odds - but if you tell me what they are, I’ll make sure you lose money betting against me. Cause this business saved me when I needed saving. It gave me a life I never could have dreamed of before - even with almost a decade of being told I don’t belong here.

Now I’m putting down a former PCW Tag Team Champion, a guy who’d take one look at me and decide there was no way I could win because I’m small and I’m light. Guess what, dumbass? I got a tag team title win of my own by letting my partner throw me at people just like you, people who didn’t expect what I can do out in that ring. And the best part is?

I’m only just getting started.

Right now, I’m in line for the PCW Prodigy Championship, and that’s great. I can’t wait to step up to James Christ and see what he’s like when we’re in the ring. I can’t wait to see the look on his and his manager’s faces when I’m holding that title up high above their heads and James is laying back, staring up at the lights.

It ain’t the size of the dog in the fight, Nobi. It’s the size of the fight in the dog. I may be the size of a chihuahua but I fight like a goddamn Great Dane. I’m pissed off at the world and tonight on Triumph you’re gonna be the one I take that anger out on.

I’m headed straight for the top and I’m not gonna let a jar of expired mayo get in my way.